Milagro

I thought I'd make a list of the 10 most awesome things I can think of right now:

1) Josie by Steely Dan

2) Speaking of Steely Dan- the entire discography is now in my possession, and THAT is great.

3) The photo album I made today that I'm going to keep adding to, consisting entirely of photos I've taken along the Pacific Coast Highway

4) Another job interview on Tuesday that I'm going to rock out with

5) It's May! May is my favorite. There are fewer gorgeous days in May than there are in July or August, but for some reason the ones that exist in May are always appreciated more. At least in my life. I'm sure it's because most people are happy that summer is within reach!

6) I ate Indian food for the first time today (finally) and loved it. But I left in such a food coma that I couldn't move for a good hour. So now in LA I've had Brazilian, Cuban, Chinese (good chinese, not General Tso's), Thai, Japanese, Korean, Greek, Hawaiian, Italian, Mexican (obv), Indian, Ethiopian, raw/vegan...I'm pretty certain there are more. French & Siamese are next on the list.

7) It may sound silly, but I go for a run/walk almost every day down to Marina Del Rey and that little activity is something I for some reason wouldn't do the first time I lived here. I didn't want to explore. It's not a major thing, it's just something I always do to clear my head and the fact that I finally feel comfortable enough to have a routine here is something special. We know how hard it is for me to enjoy routine.

8) As always, the overabundance of beautiful & supportive people in my life. My tribe. I am so thankful to have met these people.

9) You know how sometimes you're torn between something and just wish the answer would come to you? The answer came to me this weekend. And no, it has nothing to do with NY/CA. No need to be any more specific than that :)

10) I have Harriet the Spy on my computer now so I can watch it whenever I want. And my parents mailed me my torn up, 40 year old copy of the book. Perfect perfect perfect.

There is one little piece of bad news: Momma Scott got "temporarily" laid off. She has such an amazing work ethic and my family really can't afford things like this. She deserves to work somewhere that doesn't make her constantly worry about whether she'll have a job next week. They told her she'd be hired back first if they can bring around more business, but what the hell does that mean? She can't just wait around for Prestolite to stop sucking. I want her to have something so much better.

Ho Ho HOEBAG

I'm in a stoooore and I'm singggiiiiiing!

75 mph wind gusts in cheery Buffalo NY today...that's hurricane status folks. The uprights at the Bills game were bending, lol.

This has been a wonderful, busy, stressful vacation back to my happy little life in the woods. The night that I flew in Amanda came over and we spent hours reading old online journals (from 11th/12th grade ...i'm such a blogging whizkid, watch out) and laughed ourselves SICK.

My life has changed so much and so many people have popped in and out in the 5 years since I wrote in that blog. But remarkably enough, reading through all that nonsense I realized that I have not changed very much. I'm about 150% less dramatic, and I don't get into fights in the chorus room. Other than that I'm still 17 year old Hanna running around hating boys, not giving herself enough credit when it's needed, and giving herself TOO much credit when it's not.

My Uncle Jim is at ECMC in the trauma unit, and has been since a week ago. He missed Christmas and is in a drug-induced coma. He had a bad stroke and fell down my Grandma's basement stairs. Now there's a tube coming out of his brain to drain any fluid, and he had to have a tracheotomy to remove all the fluid from his chest/throat because he had pneumonia. I'm not close to him; he's a Vietnam veteran and has since turned crazy and dangerous. He never had a wife or children. He used to really hurt my mom and aunts and I'm not even sure if he knows he did it. But it poses a problem for about 6 different reasons:
1-- My grandma is hopeful. And in all honesty....she shouldn't be because he probably is going to die soon. But how can you possibly tell a mother not to hope for the best for her son? You can't.
2-- My grandma is going to the hospital every day to visit but no one wants her driving around Buffalo by herself, so Aunt Holly has been taking her. Every day. And she's been staying with her too, which is incredibly stressful for both of them.
3-- My mom feels guilty for not being able to help because she's in Franklinville and this is going on an hour/hour and a half away, but is having a hard time deciding what to feel because this is a man that she had almost completely removed from her life because he hurt her so much and so frequently.
4-- They didn't expect him to make it through the initial surgery to drain fluid on his brain. But he did. Now, he's not taking in food, even through a tube, and they don't know if he can breathe on his own. And they say it may be 6 months before they see a change. This is going to go on for 6 months??? It's a very scary thought and is going to be so, so hard on my family.
5-- Even if he does make it out alive...he's likely going to be a vegetable. And my Grandma has a heart of gold but just cannot take care of him 24/7. She's not eating as it is. And none of us can afford it/have room/have a schedule that permits us to take him in. And I'm not sure anyone except Grandma would want to anyway. I know it sounds harsh but I'm talking about some very serious, scary, bad things that this man has done. He's not alright.
6-- This is already a very hard time on my Mom's side of the family, because my Grandpa died on my Aunt Holly's birthday (the day after christmas) a long time ago. Grandma has already had to say goodbye to her husband and one of her sons, and now there's another member of the family that's headed down that road.

Very stressful. I'm just trying to listen to my Mom when she seems like she needs to talk, because I don't know what else to do. My dad's not really the listening kind...I am just so thankful that I could come home while this was going on and give her someone to count on because she truly needs it.

Enough sadness. Christmas night I went to OB's and saw a ton of Franklinville people that I haven't seen in a long time. I love celebrating in my hometown! Friday I went to JBs and did some serious dancing (and so did Adam, hahahahahahahhaha). Saturday I ended up going out to eat with Missy and Franny and then headed to Cojones Cantina in Olean. There was an absolutely FANTASTIC two-man band covering Steely Dan and Pink Floyd and Steve Winwood and others...it was truly one of the best live acts I've ever gone to see. Who would've thought it would be in Olean?

Can I just say how ECSTATIC I AM that I will be back in NY for my Dad's 50th bday, my Mom's bday, Maple Festival, springtime in general, Thursday at the Square, ugh. I have such an incredible amount of stuff to look forward to. I told a good portion of my family that I was moving home today, and instead of being disappointed that I'm not sticking it out longer or worried about me going home to a bad job market, they are just so excited to see me happy and back to my normal self. I feel awesome.

And...I cancelled my New Years Eve flights to see GPN play in Vermont. Lets just say....something came up =)