équitable, joli, juste

I shut my phone off today. It sounds like such a silly thing right? We can turn off our phones and computers anytime we want. Except that most of us really can't. Not only did I shut my phone off, but I seriously contemplated biking to the ocean to dispose of it for all of eternity. If I wasn't such a fan of a) constantly knowing what time it is, b) talking to my best friend and a few other select people, and c) taking pictures without dragging a camera around...it probably would have gone into the Pacific indeed. I think a mini-meltdown in a hooptie (ha!) that led to a night of me laying next to someone I care about, not having to think about anything showed me that I'd better start finding as many ways to relax my brain and my heart as humanly possible, because I need it. Or I risk becoming a complete wackjob.

I am still 100% happy and thankful that I'm here, and I mean that with everything I've got. I'm just worried about my sanity for one reason: NOTHING that I have is my own. I don't have even a square foot of my own space. Even my "free" time is not my own, as I'm quickly finding out. I need to take a step back and re-evaluate the things that I supposedly want from my life, because I think I'm sort of far off on one of them haha. But where there's bad there's good, because let me tell you how perfect another area of my life is...I don't want to go into detail because I don't want to jinx it. I'm just super thankful, bottom line.

Jasmine iced tea from Mao's is awesome.

Furthermore, I cannot wait until I'm financially comfortable enough to get a gym membership and throw away my stress 3-5 times a week =) Even the thought of it makes me feel great. I feel like I have so much to look forward to, but unfortunately no time to actually look forward to it haha! I know this: I'm grateful for the hour-ish that I spend after work each day, walking from my office to CBS/the Grove to either laugh my ass off with the AMAZING guys in the machine room, or wander around in the evening sun and people watch.

And one last thing: I've officially lived in LA through every month of the year now. So what if I did it in a million pieces? Little personal milestones are sometimes the only thing I need to make me feel like I'm doing something right.