elsewhere

I've been on this quest lately (especially since my external hard drive died on the plane ride here and I lost ALL of my music) to download all the albums my dad listened to when I was growing up. Today it was Sarah McLachlan's Fumbling Towards Ecstasy. I remember being 10 years old and putting this CD on while my parents weren't home, curling up on the couch, and listening to the entire album straight through. Not a very significant memory, but I can still tell you exactly what I was wearing, how the living room was arranged, what month it was... Whenever that happens I tend to think that our brains somehow know that the memory will be important someday, so we store it and wait patiently for that day.

Maybe those of us that are involved with art have more vivid memories because we take so much away from our experiences to use it for inspiration. I know that I could paint an entire picture from that day. Not using what I saw in particular, but what I felt and other miscellaneous things that are associated. For example- I can't decide why, but the first 3 tracks on that album remind me of ravens and dark green. Though that may just be the synesthesia?

I had a fantastic interview today with a PR company in West Hollywood. They gave me homework! The really impressive thing about all this is that the man interviewing me said they received 600 resumes, and narrowed it down to 30. The fact that I made it through that first round of eliminations is awesome in itself (though expected, because it's a social media job and I rock at social media). On top of that, he said that they were only giving "homework" out to the people they liked from the first round of interviews. So...I'm getting closer and closer :) I have this overwhelming feeling that this is the job I'm going to get. I felt it before I even went to the inteview; I just had such a good feeling about it. It's a fantastic company and I would be so honored to work for them. The stars just must have been aligned today....lets hope they can stay on my side a bit longer to help me do this!

It feels good to write again. Even if I don't have anything spectacular to say.

I have to admit, I'm going to miss Franklinville's summer this year. For a few reasons, family/friends/3013 PHR of course, but I'm writing it now because I just thought of the sound that red-wing blackbirds make in the summertime. Especially in the evening. It's just one of those things- spring peepers in April, the sound of blackbirds & cicadas in the summer... I'm lucky to have grown up somewhere that allowed me to find happiness in such tiny things.

Fog and Smog are not the Same

"It's hard for me to find a way
to get through another city day
without thinking about
getting out"
-David Crosby

The Palace is coming together nicely. I invested in a white table that doubles as a desk...I found it on craigslist and it just looks like it was meant to be mine. So now there is no need for blogging in bed, and there is also no chair for said table/desk. Which is unfortunate. I think my old nightstand from target will support my "almost ethnic ass" (as Greg put it) until I can find a good one.

This weekend was dedicated to catching up on sleep and finding a way to make this place feel like home. I never realized how far I was from what I wanted to be until I made a new and improved Franklinville playlist on iTunes and all these crazy memories started floating back into my brain and made me miss that place more than I will ever be able to explain. I'm obviously not the same as I was 4 or 5 years ago, but I do think that there are elements of myself that I had then that I miss having now and need to get them back. And as silly as it sounds, music is a stepping stone for that; if you're in the right frame of mind, you can do anything. It's so much more simple than people think.

I don't think I can afford to go home for Thanksgiving. I told Amanda and told my parents, and they all understood and were supportive but that made it no easier. My mom told me sometimes that if certain songs come on the radio on their drive home from work, my parents start thinking of things we've done together and cry. If I were 14 I would probably want to crawl in a hole and die from embarrassment from that, and frankly that's not even a normal statement coming from my parents, but lately it just makes me want to hug them. I don't want them to feel like I'm far away. I don't want to BE far away.

Being here has seemed like an afterthought lately. I wake up and am indifferent towards it. I don't know how long the feeling will last, but if it's more than a few months I'm going to start hunting for jobs in NYC online. The more I talk to people about my life here the more I realize how different it is from what I need and want. There are parts that I won't want to leave of course, and maybe those parts will be what keeps me here longer. Who knows. It just doesn't feel like the right spot. I'm willing to bet that I know exactly what (who) deals with that feeling, but I'll never say it outloud. There's just no point.

[memories are just dead men making trouble]

My S key is on its way out. That's not a good thing....this computer isn't even 6 months old. I wonder if I type more words that have the letter S. Isn't E the most popular letter? RSTLNE, if Pat Sajak knows anything about the English language...

I get that I'm a little crazy about music that reminds me of home, but the same goes for anything that feels like that place. It's where I've felt the happiest, so why not find ways to relate it to this big city that bears no resemblance? These two sound like summertime and backroads which makes them perfect candidates...

MP3 [David Crosby - Traction in the Rain]
MP3 [JJ Cale - Hey Baby]