got you where I want you

I'm so thankful to have a switch inside of me that flicks on when I've had enough darkness to remind me that I'm here for a short while and everything around me is beautiful and temporary. Today is an easy, clear blue day and I feel satisfied being here even without an apartment, without my family and best friend, without a lot of things (but WITH a blowdryer and straightener and other assorted hanna-things thanks to the 2 big boxes from Pierce Hill).

I try to stay pretty secretive about any bad things in my life. Not because anyone's asking me to or I feel like I'm obligated to, just because it's how I DO. My friend Ravi told me the other day that I seem like I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life, and that is such a cool compliment to receive. I don't know if I'd go as far as to say that I've never been happier, but I do feel so thankful that I'm here enjoying my life in my own way and doing something new every day. I think now I understand why there are so many old people in Franklinville haha...it's a place that you go when you've done what you want to do and you're OK with small-town relativity and routine.

Do you think there are certain types of people that are more likely to lose their sense of hope and faith in life as they get older? Or is there maybe a certain age that it starts at? It seems like so many people I know in their late 20s get this random "I'm so old, once you're this old you'll understand why we start losing hope" thing goin on. Honestly you're 26-29, shut up. You're not 80. At this exact moment, this exact second in time, I feel like I will never lose the overwhelming sense that people truly are good at heart.

I might have found an apartment. THE apartment. On the most gorgeous tree-lined street with a really pretty path lined with gardens on both sides, up to an apartment thats the perfect size with a really chill guy that needs a roommate. And it's not even a half mile from work. Tell me this is possible, tell me this is possible, tell me this is possible.... I haven't needed something so much in such a long time.

I think I'm going to go lay in the grass after work...whether Mr. Furnari graces me with his presence or not =)