m'aimer pour qui je suis

I may have freaked out a little a lot today over my current financial standings, or lack thereof. An hour and a half at the gym cured the majority of it, the glass of juice cured a tiny bit (I was craving it haha), and the rest of it was totally swept away by this band, Morcheeba, and this song:

Slow Down

I'm a big fan of trip-hop as a whole, but this is just in a class by itself.

The gym has been such a needed habit lately. I've always gone for a hike or a walk when I needed to clear my head, but something about being in a room full of people that are all there for a purpose does great things to me. It's why I love airports so much; every single person beyond a security checkpoint is there for a reason. I don't find concentrated groups of people very often in my life, which is a shame as it always inspires me. Not sure why, it just seems to click in the little lock on my brain =)

There's a grand balance to life, you know? We're ultimately never dealt something that we can't handle. How many times has the right thing happened to you at the exact moment when you needed it most? A moment you can look back on and think 'if this hadn't happened to me, I would have been a goner.' It's a fairly terrifying concept to put all of our faith in, but it just always works. I can get myself worked up about being at a financial standstill, but there's still the tiniest flicker of understanding that eventually, in its own winding, cyclical way, my life will fix itself.

Having a healthy way (or two or three) to release all my frustration is essential to me. I've been around so many people that have drank it away, cut it away, puked it away, and done so many bizarre and harmful things to themselves that it scared me into wanting to be more stable. It's occured to me lately that I'm far more pure than I usually let on. I can talk myself up and get a little bit crazy now and then, but I've never had the desire to try bad things, and I probably never will. I like it that way.

I absolutely love it when I learn that someone I went to high school with got out of Franklinville and is doing amazing things with their life. Some people just deserve the world.