I like to be here when I can
When I come home cold and tired
It's good to warm my bones beside the fire
You know the night you asked me if I'd consider getting an apartment with you when your lease was up? We were laying in your bed and the radio was playing songs that reflected the gloom: The Rain Song, Riders on the Storm... Those two songs playing with the real rain falling outside was one of the most perfect nights I've ever had. Especially after those two tacos cured my mystery disease and we curled up and watched TV together. My first thought was actually, "I can't bear to leave my huge bedroom and my amazing roommates" and then I realized that there's no reason to hold on to something as silly as 4 walls. They're wood and drywall and paint (and frankly they have problems with termites sometimes) and that does not compare to taking a real step forward with you.
Truthfully I want to start over. A coworker from bigMETHOD recently moved and although I don't talk to her much anymore, she pops up in my news feeds every now and then and I can't help but notice how incredibly happy she is. A new job and a new city to live in can do wonders if you do it on your own terms when the time is right (I obvs am the queen of finding this out the hard way, twice lol). The thought of having that happen in my own life is soooo refreshing.
I thought this weekend would be awful because I had to spend a large portion of my day at an event for work. Hanna with half of a weekend is NOT a Hanna that anyone wants to be around. Thank you to my amazing friend + roommate Gab, Rutts Hawaiian Cafe, and multiple South Park episodes for fixing my rotten mood. Today was a lot better than I thought it would be, and by the time I got home I was counting my blessings to have a sunny day, wonderful supportive friends and a green tea lemonade in my hand (purchased by Ian who is my ray of sunshine at work, always).
Today was my Dad's 52nd birthday. I called him and sang to him this morning and missed him so much I couldn't even stand it. When I moved home from LA in 2009 I surprised him on his 50th birthday by walking up the driveway with my luggage. I wish I could have flown home to give him a big ass bear hug. He is aaaalways my first choice when it comes to giving or receiving hugs.
And to you, beautiful Grandma Potaczala, I will be calling and singing to everyone on their birthdays from now on, because someone has to continue that tradition now that you're gone. I miss you.
