There's nothing but love on your mind

Sunday afternoon I hit a low point. I hit a low point that I never imagined myself reaching, had a conversation I dreaded and wanted to walk away from, and felt like I had failed for the first time here. I may not like this place all the time, but generally I know I'm doing OK. Maybe I needed to bounce; maybe that's as low as I'll go in this colorful new residency of mine and the future will be spent just like the past 6 days. I've woken up feeling ok. I've gone to bed feeling ok. The events of each day have turned into something to anticipate, even if I can't really tell the world (or the internet) why it's happened that way.

By the time I step out of a car onto Franklinville snow, it will have been 5 months to the day since I moved here. I will have seen my parents once in those 5 months. I call them every day...I take 5-15 minutes out of my workday to tell them I love them. And I'm so lucky for that, because they are the 2 most beautiful people in the entire world.

My Dad is someone who hit rock bottom several years ago and had the strength to turn around by himself and make his life and my family's lives better. He makes me laugh like no one else on this earth will ever be able to. He's had the craziest, most soulful life doing what he wanted to do and has implanted that soul into me and told me to do what makes me happy. And wouldn't you know, doing what makes me happy has never led me in a harmful direction. In fact, it's reserved me one of the best lives that I think a person can live. This is a man that told me, "You have never failed at something you really wanted. The second you decide you want something, it's yours, and I will never understand how you do it, it blows my mind." A man that emails me out of the blue to tell me he thought about me all day and how proud of me he is. A man that has practically always been on my side unless I did something really fucking stupid haha.

(prime example, piercing my own belly button in 9th grade...he wasn't on my side that day.)

My Mom is my rock. My gorgeous, determined, adorable, nervous rock. A lady who has singlehandedly been the glue that kept everything together in my family on more than one occasion. A lady that answers the phone with "Hello Beautiful" every time I call home no matter what kind of day she had. A lady that is often misunderstood and will never give herself enough credit. A lady that I can call anytime to tell her the latest stupid mistake I made (and the last one I threw at her was a biggie...not PC for the blog even) and she will listen calmly, tell me I can only do what's right for me and not other people, tell me the best way to wiggle out of the situation, and assure me that I Will Be Okay.

I'm pretty confident that life is taking me somewhere I can't even dream up right now; that's just how it's always been. Something bigger and better is always placed in my lap with a bow on it. All I have to do is untie it and it's mine- I can play around with it, grow with it, learn about it, and make it entirely my own. I've strolled through my life like a big fricken tunnel...I never veer off and try other paths, I literally ONLY head in one direction and that is upward. There is no maze to confuse me. I just take what I find and enjoy the ride until I come across something even more incredible. Hard to describe the right way unless you know me very well, and then I think you know exactly what I'm talking about.

What better songs to post than ones that make me feel like I'm weightless, on backroads winding through the rural sun? Cause that has always been where I feel the most alive =)

MP3 [Terry Reid - Seed of Memory]
MP3 [Terry Reid - Brave Awakening]